Glory's Garden

All the world's a garden, you know, and we are mere flowers within it. Come, I'll show you!

Don't get any funny ideas!

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My Peeps!

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The Glory Scale Foiled!

I have awful news for any of you who were crazy stupid silly industrious enough of start using the Glory Scale. Through no fault of my own--at least I don't think I'm to blame, but perhaps I am!-- The Glory Scale has been foiled!
The last time I was bigger than all my kids

What? You don't know anything about the Glory Scale? Well, then, no harm done. For you others who were not so lucky, I do apologize profusely.
Hibiscus will always be over a Glory high

 If you are new here, you may not know of Mac Pike's glorious addition to math or science or whatever deals with all forms of measurement. He got the idea from me when I kept referring to certain plants as being half a Glory high, or just Glory height or way over a Glory tall--in the case of my Sunflowers back in my early days of gardening. Well, never to be outdone, Mac painstakingly* created the elaborate Glory Scale form of measurement using my actual height at the center of it, 5'1 and a half precisely.

That's why Justin calls me Little Mom

I can only imagine this was supposed to simplify glorify neutralize improve how we measure things...or something like that. No, I didn't see how exactly, but I often let Mac do as he wishes and step back hoping I won't get hurt in the process**.

Alas, all his hard work may have been for naught! The Glory Scale is foiled forever, I fear, and there is no way for me to fix it unless one of you can help me with this tragedy. I haven't the heart to tell poor Mac Pike about this, so perhaps you'll break the news to him for me. You can find him hovering about  Uncle Mac's Garden shed or he may be found wandering about the compost pile causing trouble for the local law enforcement guys. See Low Crimes and Misdemeanors for more info.

Suppose you're wondering what I could possibly do to ruin a healthy looking measuring scale such as the Glory Scale. I'll explain.
A happy dance when I used to be taller

There I was with Tommy and a friend having dinner at a steaks and shakes burger place when upon leaving Tom spots a colorfully decorated measuring sticker on the wall and says to me, "Let's see how tall you are, little girl."

Big mistake. I knew it would be wrong. I was wearing heels, after all. No, not very high heels, but an inch or two, so I knew it would be off.

Blimey, wasn't I surprised when Tommy said, "Hmm, I knew you were getting smaller. You're 5'1 and a half."

"Impossible!" I shouted. "I'm wearing heels. You're lying."
Should've kept wearing heels

He laughed. "No, I'm not." He measured me again and got the same 5'1 and a half. Marc, our friend, confirmed it. Needless to say, I was devastated! How can you just shrink??? It does explain why I have to stretch even more to get stuff on the top shelf , but it just never occurred to me I was actually shorter now! Geeze-Louise.

But how to tell Mac all this??? It renders his skillfully constructed Glory Scale null and void. Although, if I recall correctly, I do believe he made a provision addendum stipulation proviso on this very fact. Seems he didn't believe me when I told him my true height--ahem...what I thought was my true height.

Blast the man! How did he know when he's never met me??? Let me just crawl under a mushroom and sulk for a while...just because the GLory Scale is foiled. Oh bother!
If you need me, I'll be sulking under here


*I'm quite certain Mac hurt himself doing all this work, but I can't prove it. Frankly, the poor dear must have too much time on his hands, but don't let on I told you that!

** Oddly enough, I deal with Tommy and other bothersome creatures in the same way.



6 comments:

  1. ha,ha..too funny, Glory. Not to worry, Mac, our scientific standards genius, will just recalibrate the scale standard which is one Glory, however tall that may be, and all of the subsequent measurements and references will adjust automatically. Besides, I bet you haven't heard that the Glory scale can be updated at any time, just like Wikipedia...Not to worry...":)

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  2. You must have been measuring your height when you where on the pedistal Tommy put you on. I've never met you in person and I look up to you and I'm 73 inches tall so that makes you a giant.

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  3. Today, Glory Lennon, I wanted to find out if there were any more changes on the Glory scale, so I got here by clicking on the LINK --an RSS live feed that is located on the sidebar on www.incomingbytes.com
    See? It works! ":)

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