|The last time I was bigger than all my kids|
What? You don't know anything about the Glory Scale? Well, then, no harm done. For you others who were not so lucky, I do apologize profusely.
|Hibiscus will always be over a Glory high|
If you are new here, you may not know of Mac Pike's glorious addition to math or science or whatever deals with all forms of measurement. He got the idea from me when I kept referring to certain plants as being half a Glory high, or just Glory height or way over a Glory tall--in the case of my Sunflowers back in my early days of gardening. Well, never to be outdone, Mac painstakingly* created the elaborate Glory Scale form of measurement using my actual height at the center of it, 5'1 and a half precisely.
|That's why Justin calls me Little Mom|
I can only imagine this was supposed to
Alas, all his hard work may have been for naught! The Glory Scale is foiled forever, I fear, and there is no way for me to fix it unless one of you can help me with this tragedy. I haven't the heart to tell poor Mac Pike about this, so perhaps you'll break the news to him for me. You can find him hovering about Uncle Mac's Garden shed or he may be found wandering about the compost pile causing trouble for the local law enforcement guys. See Low Crimes and Misdemeanors for more info.
Suppose you're wondering what I could possibly do to ruin a healthy looking measuring scale such as the Glory Scale. I'll explain.
|A happy dance when I used to be taller|
There I was with Tommy and a friend having dinner at a steaks and shakes burger place when upon leaving Tom spots a colorfully decorated measuring sticker on the wall and says to me, "Let's see how tall you are, little girl."
Big mistake. I knew it would be wrong. I was wearing heels, after all. No, not very high heels, but an inch or two, so I knew it would be off.
Blimey, wasn't I surprised when Tommy said, "Hmm, I knew you were getting smaller. You're 5'1 and a half."
"Impossible!" I shouted. "I'm wearing heels. You're lying."
|Should've kept wearing heels|
He laughed. "No, I'm not." He measured me again and got the same 5'1 and a half. Marc, our friend, confirmed it. Needless to say, I was devastated! How can you just shrink??? It does explain why I have to stretch even more to get stuff on the top shelf , but it just never occurred to me I was actually shorter now! Geeze-Louise.
But how to tell Mac all this??? It renders his skillfully constructed Glory Scale null and void. Although, if I recall correctly, I do believe he made a
Blast the man! How did he know when he's never met me??? Let me just crawl under a mushroom and sulk for a while...just because the GLory Scale is foiled. Oh bother!
|If you need me, I'll be sulking under here|
*I'm quite certain Mac hurt himself doing all this work, but I can't prove it. Frankly, the poor dear must have too much time on his hands, but don't let on I told you that!
** Oddly enough, I deal with Tommy and other bothersome creatures in the same way.