Dear* Mother Nature,
What are you thinking? Have you gone mad? Are you perhaps a bit touched? I only ask because I can consult a calender, which apparently you have neglected to do of late!
It is the last day of March as I write this and as I stare out my window all I see it WHITE! All my trees, every branch, the entire lawn all my gardens are WHITE. Perhaps you are not in the Poconos at present...where it is snowing like the Dickens. Are you on spring break in the tropics pray tell?
Well, I am not and therefore I wish this insanity to stop already!
Geeze-Louise, give us a break. We've had a dreadfully long, hard and chilled-to-the-bone winter, blast it all! Don't we deserve a break yet? Don't we deserve to see some warmer temperatures—some which don't swiftly revert back down to the 20s that is? How about some sprouts poking out of the ground and some buds swelling on plump branches and oh, lordy please please...some GREEN for a change?
What's that? Seriously, you're gonna blame Jack for this? Everyone knows about you and Jack Frost getting it on every end of winter/beginning of spring, but you know what? You've become a smutty trollup where that dude is concerned. Why don't you do us all a favor and become a nun? Enough slutting around!
Yeah, you heard me! I'm pretty darn ticked off, but I'm sure it's all nothing to you...no sweat off your pretty little nose.
After all, it is...April fool's day tomorrow...and the joke's on us.
*For dear you shall forever be dear to me—most times, anyway.